Define ASSherTiveness

Rob : Prof, how do you cure ASShertivenes?
Prof:  Oh, very interesting question Rob...
           This can't be defined in small words.
           Let's take some example...

Rob : Well..

Prof : Coming to Class with your pants down ,
          showing your ass painted all over with Window's logo,
          pole dangling horizontal like a Russian tank's barrel
          shouting "hands up ... give me your apples..." ,
          Rob, tell me , is it assertiveness ?

Sucy: Rob, how prof knows, you gotta change the logo and don't shout so much ,
          don't mind the barrel
Rob : S~!t , how this fella knows ?

Rob : Prof, I think it is or may be NOT.
          But I asked you about AssHERtiveness ie
          how to reduce the later discomfort and pain on the barrel
          after a marathon  
         A@sf~$k session....with her

Prof:  Guys, you are very funny ,
          what what on earth ... you are talking in my physics class ?


Disclaimer : The characters and names above are purely fictional.
Author doesn't intend to hurt anyone's sensibility and integrity.
Only objective is some hearty lungful of laugh without any prejudice in regards of race, sex, profession and religion.