Papa WON't like it : in praise of CONDOM

It certainly didn't look like a CONDOM.
It felt like a fresh virgin SAUSAGE Erect and throbbing .
This changed everything,

I ate it Hungrily,
Then took him in.

 

paranoia reDEFINED by MILKman

You are absolutely Paranoid ,
If YOU think the milkman on your door
is the son of your father or grandmother or
is the father of your granddaughter or
is the son of your ex-wife whose daughter is your mother-in-law

 

Leaked Condom Syndrom answers

TEACHER:Hey you , Leaked Condom Syndrom,
                   can you answer my question?

STUDENT: Sure,when my DAD screwed your MOTHER,
                   there was no leak. It gushed and went straight into her
                   groove. He doesn't like rubber , you see.
                   I was told she was such a horny bitch.
                   $1000 a night she used to charge.

 

Bed and BREAST without any rest

You may check this site  www.BedandBreast@foolsmotel.com 

This motel in the Igloo City promised guests with
Bed & Rest with many Breasts.
Bed is all FREE and Rest comes at the cost of $1500 a night.Motel advises to carry at least 1TB memory cards and a high resolution camera to video your breast period.
 
You may choose as many Rests as you please or your stamina allows with a minimum of  10 rests a night , failing which the security deposit of $5000 will be forfeited.
 
Hefty discounts will be given if one brings his luggage  in topless form right from airport.
 
It also says, it is the Eden that you have read in books.
It is truly a paradise. Currently, waiting period for reservation of 1 night is 5 years. So, hurry and book your rest.
 
If any of you visit , leave a Facebook & twitter post about the experience and share some rest videos in YouTube.
 

Jack & Obama Care

Jack & Phill went to the hall
To see the NAKED  girl.
Jack fell down & broke his dick,
Phill said "Pal, No worries, lemme take her.
And for you , don't worry,
There's Obama Care"


Disclaimer : The characters and names above are purely fictional.
Author doesn't intend to hurt anyone's sensibility and integrity. Only objective is some hearty lungful of laugh without any prejudice in regards of race, sex, profession and religion.

One more Breast piece Please

The sumptuous dinner hosted by the Blonde is on : 

Guy      : Can I have one more Breast piece.

Blonde  : You like it !

Guy       : Oh Yeah, so soft ... yum... so tasty 

Blonde  : Oh dear, none left now. So, sorry...
                 Hold on,  nuts! hold on, I think I have 2 more pieces.
                 But not now.
                 Wait till everyone is gone.
        
Disclaimer : The characters and names above are purely fictional.
Author doesn't intend to hurt anyone's sensibility and integrity. Only objective is some hearty lungful of laugh without any prejudice in regards of race, sex, profession and religion.
         

Sucy in Restaurant

Waiter : Would you like a table?
               For how many?

Sucy     : Guy, I don't eat table.
               How many ?
               Only for me and my 7 boyfriends , one for every night.
               And you know, some of them likes it on the table.



Disclaimer : The characters and names above are purely fictional.
Author doesn't intend to hurt anyone's sensibility and integrity. Only objective is some hearty lungful of laugh without any prejudice in regards of race, sex, profession and religion.

DullGate could not MOUNT eyeBM

MyCrowShop's CEO DullGate declared in a conference
that only regret in his life is he could not mount eyeBM.

He tried hard though .
But his effort could not get HARD enough to facilitate a mount.

He built a house of numerous windows without
any screen or curtain.

So, whenever he felt it , it was all open all the sides.
He could not open his or eyeBM's due to openness all around.

And so much of messy chaos the crows his company sold created. They were crashing every now and then through the open windows, when he was in mood. All sorts of Bugs , Worms sneaked in for a bite of uncontrolled testosterone smell wafting out of windows. 

He was not able to shut down his windows to stop the crows crashing. Finally, eyeBM invented a stick to CONTROL and DELETE these crows from his bedroom.

But, it was difficult to handle his own stick and eyeBM's stick at the same time.

He said , it is a lesson in stick management that finally eased the problem to some extent , but it took many years when his own stick weltered away.

It is the sad memory of his unused stick that lingers even today.

Disclaimer : The characters and names above are purely fictional.
Author doesn't intend to hurt anyone's sensibility and integrity.
Only objective is some hearty lungful of laugh without any prejudice in regards of race, sex, profession and religion.

10 LIVE lobsters

Physical Punishment to Students
in any form is UNACCEPTABLE.
 
Justification put forward  by a Headmaster went like this :
 
Nowadays kids are being born with Twitter
& Face book a/c ready in hand. So they're
considered an adult from the 1st Wahh-Wahh.
So, Punishment for the boy is Justified

What do you do with these Monsters ?

The Jury gave verdict :
Stuff this animal's mouth with 10 live Lobsters &
let the boy & his classmates kick his ass 999 times.
Of course , Bandaids & Tetanus will be provided at the end.


Disclaimer : The characters and names above are purely fictional.
Author doesn't intend to hurt anyone's sensibility and integrity.
Only objective is some hearty lungful of laugh without any prejudice in regards of race, sex, profession and religion.

 

Expiry Date of Microsoft

The news has it that the Microsoft patent for opening a new
window on click of a link is going to expire soon.

My friend was so ecstatic hearing the news the
Microsoft itself is going to EXPIRE soon.

He said, let new windows be opened
with new breeze pouring in for a CHANGE.


Disclaimer : The characters and names above are purely fictional.
Author doesn't intend to hurt anyone's sensibility and integrity.
Only objective is some hearty lungful of laugh without any prejudice in regards of race, sex, profession and religion.

Black Berry Blue Berry & Hollow Berry

It heard that actress Hello Berry was named after a fruit.
I am still to figure out which fruit.

Went to fruit shops and asked :

"Hello , Black Berry , are you Hollow?"
 "No. I am juicy. Go to Hollywood for Hollowness"

"Hello , Blue Berry , are you Hollow?"
 "No. I am juicy .Go to Hollywood for Hollowness"

"Hello , Rasp Berry , are you Hollow?"
"No. I am juicy. Go to Hollywood for Hollowness"

Holly ghost ! The all know the address !


Disclaimer : The characters and names above are purely fictional.
Author doesn't intend to hurt anyone's sensibility and integrity.
Only objective is some hearty lungful of laugh without any prejudice in regards of race, sex, profession and religion.

 

DirtyPigus Sewerfucking Animalana

      

@FactsProfessor  informed that many Countries

 Don't accept Blood Donation from Gays.

 

Funny Joke Master ‏@jokefactory24x7  replied :

 

It has Nothing to with GAY.

They are PERFECTLY normal.

They have selected their destiny.

 

It is the Prez, PM, CANCELlors of these countries

Who enacted such laws.

 

Because, otherwise their Blood Analysis

will reveal their BLOODY CORRUPTED genes

 

ingdicating their origin from a species called

DirtyPigus  Sewerfucking Animalana.


Disclaimer : The characters and names above are purely fictional.
Author doesn't intend to hurt anyone's sensibility and integrity.
Only objective is some hearty lungful of laugh without any prejudice in regards of race, sex, profession and religion.

 

 

 

PEACE be your GLORY

Open Your HEART
Realize the BRILLIANCE in others

Share your RAINBOW of LOVE

Bring JOY to the NEEDY
Let PEACE be your GLORY
JOY be your CROWN


 

Tennis with Pennis

Funny Joke Master ‏@jokefactory24x7 
      

Some Guys play Tennis

With their Balls & PENNIS,

                                Pen, they don't carry,

Use PENNIS instead,

Always they are 

                                In a big HURRY!

 

Disclaimer : The characters and names above are purely fictional.
Author doesn't intend to hurt anyone's sensibility and integrity.
Only objective is some hearty lungful of laugh without any prejudice in regards of race, sex, profession and religion.

Blob of HEART & Intellect

Funny Joke Master ‏@jokefactory24x7    
                  

CROSS the BOUNDARY, son

Be not AFRAID of UNKNOWN

Know well , YOU are STRONG.

A Unique blob of HEART & INTELLECT

Door Beyond Universe BECKONs

 

 

 

LabYu Means : Oxford Dictionary

What LabYU means?

In my Language I speak which I just invented :

LabYU : Love YoU : if you are on my side

LabYU : CUT YoU in Lab Like a FROG : if you are on In-Laws side and cross every word I speak.

I had applied for my new invention.
The OxBored Dictionary Committee congratulated me for this superb definition.

I am informed they will include this term in their next edition.
Don't forget to buy this edition for your grandkid.



Disclaimer : The characters and names above are purely fictional.
Author doesn't intend to hurt anyone's sensibility and integrity.
Only objective is some hearty lungful of laugh without any prejudice in regards of race, sex, profession and religion.

Don't be FRuckStrated

CHANGE,

for The BUTTER or WORSE
Is the SPICE of LIFE.

Hey, Do Not WORRY the PRICE,
SPICE GALs will come for  RESCUE,

Don't FRUCKstrate and shout
I'll F:)K U.

Wonder 2-in-1 Blonde

SlyFox3 News Channel :

It is the 8th Wonder of the World.
People are flocking to see this wonder Blonde.
You can book your ticket on
 www.SlyFox3.com\WonderBlonde\Booking\

Our Exclusive correspondent reports that this girl has a dick in the valley of her breasts. She is bloody voluptu-georgeous.

But more on this to come , now a small commercial.
Stay glued to your seat or in your pot or wherever you are.

We have exclusive photo shots of this 8th wonder dick
after this break. Don't go away. Dick will follow shortly"


Disclaimer : The characters and names above are purely fictional.
Author doesn't intend to hurt anyone's sensibility and integrity.
Only objective is some hearty lungful of laugh without any prejudice in regards of race, sex, profession and religion.
  

Prez mails to Santa for bandaid

Santa has got a mail from the Prez,

"Dear Santa,

  Hope You are Doing well.
  Don't bring just a few kitkats this time, please.
  I like them, but may be , later.

  This xMas Send truckload of Band Aids, Tapes,
  anti-Rabies Vaccines .

  Preparing for PIG Bites in Feb 14.

  Lastly, can I borrow $100Tn from your Swiss Account
  My Govt needs  to repair my torn underwears , and send
  aid to my friendly countries to buy more weapons from us.

  Money or no money, don't forget the vaccines please."


Disclaimer : The characters and names above are purely fictional.
Author doesn't intend to hurt anyone's sensibility and integrity.
Only objective is some hearty lungful of laugh without any prejudice in regards of race, sex, profession and religion.
 

LOVE is the Strongest BOND

LOVE is the Strongest BOND
Intrinsic to a human soul.
LOVE without boundary shall WIN
ARROGANT powers
Shall eventually lose to People's LOVE.
The Dawn will rise.

go SCREWdriving , be not SAD

Broke up with your BF ?

DO this :

Say , "GOOD riddance!"
Kick on his ass and go SCREWdriving.
Don't be SAD.
Bite with jest and VIGOUR, Beauty.
Don't skip even a single Meal.
Sleep well.

Statutory warning : Don't carry any gun , or screwdriver or any weapon please.

Disclaimer : The characters and names above are purely fictional.
Author doesn't intend to hurt anyone's sensibility and integrity.
Only objective is some hearty lungful of laugh without any prejudice in regards of race, sex, profession and religion.
 

REFORM the Underwear

 Prez says , his NEXT IMMEDIATE job is REFORM.
 When asked, WHAT reform?
"My Underwear" , Prez replied.

 Naturally.
 Badly TORN in Gov Shutdown.
 Underwear Reform Has to be the First PRIORITY now.


Disclaimer : The characters and names above are purely fictional.
Author doesn't intend to hurt anyone's sensibility and integrity.
Only objective is some hearty lungful of laugh without any prejudice in regards of race, sex, profession and religion.

BRA in DRAIN

Translation in ENGLISH of the TWEET 
by #jokeuniversity from Filipino

BAKLA =ONE BRA in
BABAERO =HALF BRA in
MAGPAPARI =NO BRA in
SERYOSO = BRA in DRA  IN...BRA in DRA  IN...
                       BRA in DRA  IN........ BRA in DRAIN.
                       BRAin   IN... in DRAIN.

Disclaimer : The characters and names above are purely fictional.
Author doesn't intend to hurt anyone's sensibility and integrity.
Only objective is some hearty lungful of laugh without any prejudice in regards of race, sex, profession and religion.

STOP pulling My Underwears

Prez has urged the HOOLIgun rePIGlicans ,

"Go back to your shack.
  And cover your UGLY ASS.
  Hey, STOP pulling My Underwears
  My Govt has hardly any CASH"

 Disclaimer : The characters and names above are purely fictional.
Author doesn't intend to hurt anyone's sensibility and integrity.
Only objective is some hearty lungful of laugh without any prejudice in regards of race, sex, profession and religion.

For her MELON BREAST

"Gotta go Nao, Pal.
Hear Naome?
She is calling me NAO
To suck DRY her melon BREAST.
Wanna  SCREW her whole night , Without any REST"

Rob : Prof, don't scream at me.

Prof : What a nasty Poem you have composed . And ,and
           this is NOT the answer to my Question on
           TIME Dilation.

Rob : Prof, this is NOT by me , it is by a famous English
          Poet of Victorian Age , Mr. Sex Spear.

Prof : Who , who is that guy Victoria Loved, you said?

Sucy : Look at your pant , prof.
            It has already DILATED in last 2 minutes which I
            haven't seen in last 6 months in your lecture.
            So, Rob's answer is right.

Disclaimer : The characters and names above are purely fictional.
Author doesn't intend to hurt anyone's sensibility and integrity.
Only objective is some hearty lungful of laugh without any prejudice in regards of race, sex, profession and religion.
 

Have U Understood it ?

It? SHIT ! U call these Jokes!?
Well, I Knew.
Knew whatshit ?
That I need to REMIND you of NOT thinking of SHITs all the time.
 

Maa NISHADA

Maa NISHADA.

মা, নিষাদ। 

मा , निषाद।

CREATE , don't DESTROY.

Be Powerful in Charity

Be POWERful in CHARITY.
MIGHTY is the POWER shorn of Violence.
Embrace power with LOVE.
World needs YOU.

say NO to Violence

VIOLENCE - Physical or Spoken
is the only MEANs a COWARD has. Never DECORATE your person with such WEAPON.

println("Good WORK is PERMANENT");

Class TempExistence extends GOOD_Humanity {

void Print_TEMPOrariness {

                 System.out.println (
                 "ANYthing !=Permanent    " +
                 "Obama != Permanent        " +
                "(You=EGO) != Permanent " + 
                 "Earth != Permanent            ") ;
                  }

double public  Print_GREATness {
                 System.out.println (
                 "GOOD WORK ===== PERMANENT");
                  System.out.println (
                 "ENjoy Good Work! Enjoy Charity");
                           
                            return 99999999999999999999999999.9 ;

                 }

 

}

Promise-SKEWous Adam & SUCY

Jokes     : YOU are HALF-lies.

Promise : YOU are a FULL bastard. Confirmed ONE!
                I am at least half to FULL truth
               (except to my wife and numerous girlfriends)

Jokes     : You are bloody Promiscuous

The conversation was once held between Mr ADAM & EVE in Eden and still continuing.

LESSON :
Both R half MINTED with Aluminum.
These ARE NOT made of GOLD & Platinum!
Only half minted FOOLs think they R golden.


Prof : Rob, you agree to this Analysis ?

Sucy : Prof, fully agree.
           ROB is 100% CONFIRMED promiscuous.

 Rob : Of S:)t .. your apples are still HALF eaten
           or half lies ?

Disclaimer : The characters and names above are purely fictional.
Author doesn't intend to hurt anyone's sensibility and integrity.
Only objective is some hearty lungful of laugh without any prejudice in regards of race, sex, profession and religion.
 

Blonde's pussyBEAT is abNORMAL

Doc      : How is your PUSSYbeat today
               since my BITE with stetho yesterday ?

Blonde : Oh Doc, Oh Doc..

Doc      : I see , pretty AbNoRmAl.
               Let me stetho again , NOW , Oh NOW...


Disclaimer : The characters and names above are purely fictional.
Author doesn't intend to hurt anyone's sensibility and integrity.
Only objective is some hearty lungful of laugh without any prejudice in regards of race, sex, profession and religion.

I can't find HEART

X         : Single?

XX      : Right , just 1 HEART only.

XXX   : How many You WANT ?

XX      : TWO.

XXX   : Take this DVD. Start with Dicks & Pussy.
              You will damn like it.
              I am afraid I can't find HEART



Disclaimer : The characters and names above are purely fictional.
Author doesn't intend to hurt anyone's sensibility and integrity.
Only objective is some hearty lungful of laugh without any prejudice in regards of race, sex, profession and religion.

Kardashian's Gen ITALIA

Prof : Rob, Sucy , solve this Differential Equation

Rob : Hmm! Curvaceous Equation of SEXth Order!

Prof : You are funny !

Sucy: We solved this equation in the Change room of the
           supermall last week. And the security rushed.. Rob made
           so much noise!

Rob : Prof , I got a better solution.
          Sucy, just wait...please .

Prof : Well ?

Rob : If you integrate thru 360 degree along the voluptuous curve from center of attraction to the belly button , the solution you get is  DisSEXon view of Kardashian's Gen Italia which is the solution.

Prof : S:)t! How BRILLIANT Rob, S:)t!


Disclaimer : The characters and names above are purely fictional.
Author doesn't intend to hurt anyone's sensibility and integrity.
Only objective is some hearty lungful of laugh without any prejudice in regards of race, sex, profession and religion.

Define ASSherTiveness

Rob : Prof, how do you cure ASShertivenes?
Prof:  Oh, very interesting question Rob...
           This can't be defined in small words.
           Let's take some example...

Rob : Well..

Prof : Coming to Class with your pants down ,
          showing your ass painted all over with Window's logo,
          pole dangling horizontal like a Russian tank's barrel
          shouting "hands up ... give me your apples..." ,
          Rob, tell me , is it assertiveness ?

Sucy: Rob, how prof knows, you gotta change the logo and don't shout so much ,
          don't mind the barrel
Rob : S~!t , how this fella knows ?

Rob : Prof, I think it is or may be NOT.
          But I asked you about AssHERtiveness ie
          how to reduce the later discomfort and pain on the barrel
          after a marathon  
         A@sf~$k session....with her

Prof:  Guys, you are very funny ,
          what what on earth ... you are talking in my physics class ?


Disclaimer : The characters and names above are purely fictional.
Author doesn't intend to hurt anyone's sensibility and integrity.
Only objective is some hearty lungful of laugh without any prejudice in regards of race, sex, profession and religion.

Lord will not ABORTION you

Papa advises the youth -

Be decisive about rubber.
Remember, Lord will NOT ABORTION you.


Disclaimer : The characters and names above are purely fictional.
Author doesn't intend to hurt anyone's sensibility and integrity.
Only objective is some hearty lungful of laugh without any prejudice in regards of race, sex, profession and religion.

MIDsection of Kim Karvacious

Rob : What a eBook ! Marvelous! An eye opener.

Tony: What ya  readin ?

Rob : Dissection of a Star System .
          In a galaxy billions of light years away.

Tony: But my eBook is bloody damn interesting.
         Your eyes will pop out.
          Juice will start flowing.
          Ya'll be high on testostrong!

Rob : What eBook you say ?

Tony: Midsection of Kim Karvacious.


Disclaimer : The characters and names above are purely fictional.
Author doesn't intend to hurt anyone's sensibility and integrity.
Only objective is some hearty lungful of laugh without any prejudice in regards of race, sex, profession and religion.
 
 

Putin's NOBEL prize

"Who cares?", Putin told in a press conference.

He told , he has instituted his own Prize.
Every 5 years , he is going to award him that prize.

A PISS Prize awarded by himself
for pissing successfully alternately on the
Chair of prime Minister and President of Russia.



Disclaimer : The characters and names above are purely fictional.
Author doesn't intend to hurt anyone's sensibility and integrity.
Only objective is some hearty lungful of laugh without any prejudice in regards of race, sex, profession and religion.

Hyndyana PM's visit to China

Hyndyana PM is leading a high level delegates to
China next week. We learnt from Confidential Source
that the agenda includes very sensitive issues -
   
- stoppage of intermittent cross-border shitting by border security
of either side. Earlier meetings on such clandestine shitting on the other side did not yield any permanent solution. Our source reports that the Hyndyana PM himself is carrying in his briefcase about 100 HD video of shitting by the other side in Hyndyana territory as a proof to nail the issue. It is unclear , if China has similar videos.

- Prosecuting more Chinese politicians in graft cases. This will help Hyndyana to lag behind China on this count at least. Hyndyana expects this small gesture from her friendly neighbour.

- Leasing of prison room from China. This is to help Hyndyana tide over the recent tidal wave of rape and money laundering cases flooding the country leading to scarcity of prison rooms.


You are hearing SlyFox3 news Channel.
I am Hogskin Laggard bringing you the news Around the Globe.
 


Disclaimer : The characters and names above are purely fictional.
Author doesn't intend to hurt anyone's sensibility and integrity.
Only objective is some hearty lungful of laugh without any prejudice in regards of race, sex, profession and religion.

Papa condems European CONDOM

Papa feared that those sinners , the Europeans, may soon land
their spaceship on the roof of Vaticanne with tons of condoms of various hues and designs.

He also has not ruled out the possibility of a big consignment of alien busty blondes from the Jupiter's moon along with tons of rubber.

Papa moanfully wondered , what a day of nightmare that would be if one of those voluptuous dames cares to land in his bedroom with handful of rubbers.

When a newsman pointed out that NASA discovered only some molecules, Papa countered

"Today molecules, can Condoms be far behind?"



Disclaimer : The characters and names above are purely fictional.
Author doesn't intend to hurt anyone's sensibility and integrity.
Only objective is some hearty lungful of laugh without any prejudice in regards of race, sex, profession and religion.



 

Sucy's TOPless MISSILEs

Sucy was sunbathing topless in the beach.
When two NSA guys interrupted -

          NSA    : Gal, you can't do that
          Sucy    : Who the f~!k you are !
          NSA    : We need to inspect those missiles.
          Sucy    : Missiles ! What the f~!k you mean !

          NSA    : These 2 topless missile heads are 
                         directly pointing at the Pentagon 
                         and White House . It's a security
                         threat we can't accept.

          We must also search if you have any 
          nuclear warhead 
          hidden under that G-string... 


Disclaimer : The characters and names above are purely fictional.
Author doesn't intend to hurt anyone's sensibility and integrity.
Only objective is some hearty lungful of laugh without any prejudice in regards of race, sex, profession and religion.