Valentine Tender

Rob : Will you be my valentine this year?

Sucy: Why not Rob, You are 8th one in my Q.
          Fill this form and deposit earnest money 1000$.
          Your interview is at PM tomorrow.
          Your date is 14-Feb-2024.

Shakespeare, the Indian Guru

Prof : Rob, you know it is 400th anniversary year of Shakespeare

Rob : Hmm!Interesting indeed, how much they charge per night ?

Prof : You are funny !

Sucy: Rob, shit! you are an idiot.
          Prof is asking about that guy from India 
          the Sex Guru, 

Rob : Well Prof , I got it. That guy wrote many famous books
Prof : Well ? You are on right track. Name some.

Rob : The most famous is Kamsutra. I have a CD , you can use it. 

An Aussie & a Filipino talks

Aussie   : To die let's go there after office

Filipino :  Why I die after f@c*ing ?

Aussie   : Mate, you don dye to f@%k
Filipino : I want f@%k , no die.
Aussie   : F@%k, you are a pine in the ass
Filipino : I no ass , you die , f@c*ing  ass.

Kyoto Nara Park DEERS don't like CONDOMS

If you visit Kyoto Nara park for those lovely Deers, note 

if you don't offer biscuits, they will steal from your pocket-

   1. Cigarettes

   2. Handkerchief

   3. US$ or Euro bills or Japanese Yen notes

   4. any food item you may have.

You are advised not to carry any condoms 

in your purse or pocket. 

Yomuri Shimbun, the daily reported and advised tourists. 

Recently, one Nara deer stole condom

from the pocket of a tourist, but it did not like it, so it charged

the tourist up front with it's horns. The man suffered injuries and he will not be able to use any condom unless the surgeons can reattach the organ the deer cut off forcefully.

What NEXT : Lord Putin is thinking

So, what next ?
I have scored 12 goals in 12 minutes in a hockey match.
I have shot dead 5 dead grizzly bears.
World knows my macho sexy muscles.
Taken Crimea for a breakfast.
Next breakfast is Alaska with that Hockey whhore ?.
Duel if that monkey goes to white House with a bigger size?
Dine with Assad in his harem full of naked girls? 


Lord Czar Putin
31-Jan-2016

Bamboo Shark & Australian babes

BBSee News presenter: 

Here is a very exciting news coming from Down Under. One white female bamboo Shark has laid eggs.Interestingly, No male bamboo shoved his bamboo in this female bamboo as it happened in an aquarium park without any other bamboos.

Scientists are speculating that this might have been happening for ages with with all  innocent Australian babes who were laying babies recently without even a touch of human bamboos. 

Sucy & G-ravity WAVEs

Sucy: So, finally they have discovered it. 
Rob : what are you talking girl!
Sucy : G-ravity Waves
Rob : what it does, never heard.
Sucy : I think they will market soon, 
            Oh Rob, just push it hard and don't stop...
            I can't wait to see it in action in bedroom

You have EXPIRED, apply for REUSE

Recently, a colleague got this pop-up on his Desktop: 

He called me over and showed this, asked "Is it True ?"

I pinched his nose hard, he cried. 

I told, "You ares still kicking & Crying.

Don't worry.You are alive"

Then He called the IT guy who said 

"Hmm,my sincere condolence to your family.

Tell me now, how many minutes of silence you would like in the condolence meeting?"

In the Year of Monkey may become President

Sarrah: This is the Chinese Year of the Monkey 
Thrump : So what !
Sarrah : A Russian astrologer predicted...
Thrump : what that bastard has predicted !
Sarrah : That a Monkey will be elected US prez this year

Quotes from Whhite House

Gorg Bush : "We  will find out those womans of 
                       Mass Destruction. Saddamm can't 
                       hide them in his harem" 

Cleanedton : "Hah Christ, why you created those
                         s#xy Interns! " 

Obbama : "These NSA are good guys. Why on 
                    earth you think they snoop in your
                    bedrooms? Well, there are splendid 
                    sexciting reasons."


Hillari :'Hah Christ, this man is the father of my 
                daughter ? I doubt it. He says "What
                is this funny word SEX?" '

                       

Thrump wants to play Golf

Thrump : Has that bastard apologized  by mail ? 
Sarrah   : Who, Ted ? Why worry, He is busy sleeping...
Thrump : S#%t , don't question me, you useless girl.
                  Tell him, I will pick his balls by hook or crook.
                   I will decide if I eat it raw
                   or play golf with those nasty balls...

Thrump don't like Sausage

Thrump : What a nightmare, Sarrah ? 
Sarrah   : Why,  Thrump, what's the madder ?
                 You look like a haggard...
Thrump : Yeah , that bastard Ted was offering me sausage
                  Tons of sausage ...
Sarrah   : Oh great ! But Thrump, you like sausage 

                 You look like a haggard...
Thrump : S#@t! , not the brand I like

                  He shoved the real one hundred times from behind
                  I am scared, if he does it again tonight...
Sarrah   : Don't worry, I will ask Ted not to ram you from 
                  behind...

Balls Thrump wants to eat raw

Thrump : Has that bastard replied  to my mail ? 
Sarrah   : Who, Ted ? He is busy in campaign...
Thrump : S#%t , don't question me, you useless girl.
                  Tell him, I will pick his balls by hook or crook.
                   I will decide if I eat it raw
                   or play golf with those nasty balls...
                    
                 

Czar Putin's diary

1. Crimea was my breakfast
2. Syria will be my Lunch
3. Turkey shall be my Dinner
4. What else, hmmm, Hillary shall be my ice-cream             

Lord  Putin

31-Dec-2015

Blonde & UniSEX Saloon

BLONDE  sees the neon sign in a super mall :UniSEX Saloon
She feels excited and murmurs...

S#%t , yum, such a nice thing, they have done in a super mall.
Let me go and ask. So , there she goes and asks -
               
Hey, how much you pay me for 1 hour .... ?

Trump, don't worry, put on your pant now

Sarrah   : Your boss called last evening 
Thrump : Who's that bastard ? 
Sarrah   : Your wife called. 
Thrump : S#%t , you useless girl, should say that at start.
                  What she said ? 
Sarrah   : Said that you are losing your balls , sorry, brain ?
Thrump : S#%t , tell her I no longer play golf with naked girls.
Sarrah   : She didn't say that. She said you insisted on 
                 campaign only on underwear from now on, just like
                 in boxing ring.

Thrump : Holy S#%t , tell her I will never do that.
                  In fact I want to do campaign with nothing on 
                  except my tie, I want to prepare to F#$k her from
                  to-to-bottom, from front-and-back.

Boss Speaks

Boss : You want 25% raise !!!         
Rob  : Sure, I do. What is so surprising in that ? 
Boss : Call  911 immediately        
Rob  : Hello, hello 911 , ya,just hold on , 
           "Why you want 911 , what you want me to say ?"          
Boss : Tell them to send ambulance asap, also a SWAT team.
           Tell them i am sweating heavily with chest pain 
            Because i am being threatened by a stranger who is
            asking for a ransom I can not agree.  

Golden Potties of rascal Puttin

Thrump : You told from your balcony, you could see that 
                  rascal Puttin's bathroom in Russia. You remember ?
Sarrah   : Sure, I see as far as my sexy eyes go ? 
                 Hey, Trrump, what doya think aren't my eyes sexy?

Thrump : You useless girl, why I need to think. I am gonna be
                  the Precedent ....
                  Know, how many golden potties that rascal got ?

Sarrah   : I exactly could not see his golden potties from my 
                 Alaska balcony 

Thrump : No worries gal, I will be the billionaire precedent,
                  I will have double the number that rascal has 
                           I will fit at least 10 of those in every toilet...
                  don't worry gal, we will sh&t together ...

Weapons of Mass Destruction , Mr.Precedent

Thrump : You know Sarrah, what this Brazil is doing  ? 
Sarrah   : What worries you Thrump ? 
Thrump : S#%t , don't keep calling me Thrump.
                  Why not start calling Mr.President right away...
Sarrah   : Fine Trrump ? What Brazil is doing ?
Thrump : S#%t , You have no ears Sarrah.

                  You don't know what the whole bloody world knows.
                  Brazil has developed biological weapons 
                  They are sending those Zika mosquitoes to USA
                  Will teach those bloody rascals 
                  Just wait for a few more days...

                  Now mail that precedent that I will 
                  &^%$ her if she does not stop this nuisance.