SECRET FEMALE SERVER

Hillari's Bedtime Prayer-

God, are you listening ? 
Yes, poor girl, I am 
Make me the president, please...
Fine, I will grant you the wish provided....
Provided , provided what ?
Provided, you never misuse the private email server again.
Oh, sure, never, never again...but...
But what !?
Can I keep a SECRET female server in my husband's ORAL office?

Blonde Counts Numbers

In an interview .....
Man : Aah, you are seks-uh!-Pretty girl.Very pretty girl
Blonde : So, I get this job then.
Man : No, you may, but what work you know ? 
Blonde : I can count the numbers. 
Man : Count the numbers ? Wow !
Blonde : 1-2-3-4-5-....23-24-1-2 -3-4-5...
Man : Wow ! I see, but why up to 24 only ?
Blonde : You dung-head, will you understand if I explain ?
Man : Dung-head-I ! Sh#t !!!
Blonde : I keep losing count of my boy friends, so , after 24th
I start counting from one again... 

Putin's diary - Presidential Election

Ha, ha,ha .....
That bugger is doing well in his USA campaign. 
I would like to have a pet monkey who will be the president
of that f#%king America.

Let him F#%K that  Hillarious skirt  hard , HARD HARD... 
Nothing could be a more WIN-WIN situation than that monkey
winning the Election.

Only problem : my air freshener bill will go up.
I get a shitty smell when that monkey opens his mouth and starts 
throwing those shitty f#%king hands like as if he has tons of ants in his pant eating his SMALL thing...

AAh !
I am waiting for my big Dinner of USA.
Eating USA will be the greatest FUN in history.
I had Crimea as breakfast, but that is long time ago....

Czar Lord Putin
17 June 2016

Baboon the American & Pig the Russian

Sara: Oh my God, yo know what Pudin has said about you ?
Tramp : Pudin, that Russian rascal?
Sara: Ya, he says , "Tramp looks like and cries like a baboon"
Tramp : Sit#!, how he knows that ?
              F#@k that Pig, call the channels and arrange a press meet

Sara: What for ?
Tramp : I want to declare , that bas#$rd looks like a Pig and f#@ks'
              like a pig

Lula goes Under Skirt

You are watching SeeNN.
Our Brasilia correspondent just reported that 
the Ex Brazil president Lulla has just got a protection,
I mean he has gone under 
actually got a protection under the skirt
actually the skirt of Brazil preseident Diilma Roussef.
It will be very interesting to wait and watch what he does there....
  

Tramp wants to date Nefertiti

Sara: Oh my God, so finally they have found Nefertiti.
Tramp : Who is that ?
Sara: The world famous beautiful Egyptian Queen...
Tramp : Well, arrange a date with that sexy Queen

Valentine Tender

Rob : Will you be my valentine this year?

Sucy: Why not Rob, You are 8th one in my Q.
          Fill this form and deposit earnest money 1000$.
          Your interview is at PM tomorrow.
          Your date is 14-Feb-2024.

Shakespeare, the Indian Guru

Prof : Rob, you know it is 400th anniversary year of Shakespeare

Rob : Hmm!Interesting indeed, how much they charge per night ?

Prof : You are funny !

Sucy: Rob, shit! you are an idiot.
          Prof is asking about that guy from India 
          the Sex Guru, 

Rob : Well Prof , I got it. That guy wrote many famous books
Prof : Well ? You are on right track. Name some.

Rob : The most famous is Kamsutra. I have a CD , you can use it. 

An Aussie & a Filipino talks

Aussie   : To die let's go there after office

Filipino :  Why I die after f@c*ing ?

Aussie   : Mate, you don dye to f@%k
Filipino : I want f@%k , no die.
Aussie   : F@%k, you are a pine in the ass
Filipino : I no ass , you die , f@c*ing  ass.

Kyoto Nara Park DEERS don't like CONDOMS

If you visit Kyoto Nara park for those lovely Deers, note 

if you don't offer biscuits, they will steal from your pocket-

   1. Cigarettes

   2. Handkerchief

   3. US$ or Euro bills or Japanese Yen notes

   4. any food item you may have.

You are advised not to carry any condoms 

in your purse or pocket. 

Yomuri Shimbun, the daily reported and advised tourists. 

Recently, one Nara deer stole condom

from the pocket of a tourist, but it did not like it, so it charged

the tourist up front with it's horns. The man suffered injuries and he will not be able to use any condom unless the surgeons can reattach the organ the deer cut off forcefully.

What NEXT : Lord Putin is thinking

So, what next ?
I have scored 12 goals in 12 minutes in a hockey match.
I have shot dead 5 dead grizzly bears.
World knows my macho sexy muscles.
Taken Crimea for a breakfast.
Next breakfast is Alaska with that Hockey whhore ?.
Duel if that monkey goes to white House with a bigger size?
Dine with Assad in his harem full of naked girls? 


Lord Czar Putin
31-Jan-2016

Bamboo Shark & Australian babes

BBSee News presenter: 

Here is a very exciting news coming from Down Under. One white female bamboo Shark has laid eggs.Interestingly, No male bamboo shoved his bamboo in this female bamboo as it happened in an aquarium park without any other bamboos.

Scientists are speculating that this might have been happening for ages with with all  innocent Australian babes who were laying babies recently without even a touch of human bamboos. 

Sucy & G-ravity WAVEs

Sucy: So, finally they have discovered it. 
Rob : what are you talking girl!
Sucy : G-ravity Waves
Rob : what it does, never heard.
Sucy : I think they will market soon, 
            Oh Rob, just push it hard and don't stop...
            I can't wait to see it in action in bedroom

You have EXPIRED, apply for REUSE

Recently, a colleague got this pop-up on his Desktop: 

He called me over and showed this, asked "Is it True ?"

I pinched his nose hard, he cried. 

I told, "You ares still kicking & Crying.

Don't worry.You are alive"

Then He called the IT guy who said 

"Hmm,my sincere condolence to your family.

Tell me now, how many minutes of silence you would like in the condolence meeting?"

In the Year of Monkey may become President

Sarrah: This is the Chinese Year of the Monkey 
Thrump : So what !
Sarrah : A Russian astrologer predicted...
Thrump : what that bastard has predicted !
Sarrah : That a Monkey will be elected US prez this year