Lord Puddin's Diary

........
I just had a cupcake and ice Crimea.
But my enormous tank is still half empty.
The lord , the  Czar of the World can hardly feel happy with this.
I want more.

Raping and ripping a few states here and there is my hobby.
I am very passionate about it.
I don't care about those dogs barking behind my back.

That bugger Dobama is quite a laughing stock.
Who cares sanctions on my favourite ice cream and sausage.
wonder if he has got a thing at all below his belt...

I will rape the world , rip the world.
Alas , Wish I could send my hooligans blazing from Alasca to Kalifornika.Want to see if he can keep his pants dry...
......... 

Puddin
The CZAR
Disclaimer : The characters and names above are purely fictional. Author doesn't intend to hurt anyone's sensibility and integrity. Only objective is some hearty lungful of laugh without any prejudice in regards of race, sex, profession and religion.
  

Don't worry ,You F~!^*/g asshole

Boss :
             Be careful boy , don't use any profane words.
             This is your first news appearance on our  Network.

Intern :
              Don't worry ,You F~!^*/g asshole.
               I don't know Profane, speak only American .

Blonde and Adult Ticket

Zoo counter : Sorry, dear , $40 for adults.
Blonde          : I am not adult , I m below 18 for last 5 years.
                        And I know what an adult does.
                        I enjoy the adult acts so much. So, why...

Zoo counter : Dear, I didn't mean that ...
Blonde          :Then give me ticket for teens only,
                        I will not look at your adult animals.

Disclaimer : The characters and names above are purely fictional.
Author doesn't intend to hurt anyone's sensibility and integrity. Only objective is some hearty lungful of laugh without any prejudice in regards of race, sex, profession and religion.

Papa WON't like it : in praise of CONDOM

It certainly didn't look like a CONDOM.
It felt like a fresh virgin SAUSAGE Erect and throbbing .
This changed everything,

I ate it Hungrily,
Then took him in.

 

paranoia reDEFINED by MILKman

You are absolutely Paranoid ,
If YOU think the milkman on your door
is the son of your father or grandmother or
is the father of your granddaughter or
is the son of your ex-wife whose daughter is your mother-in-law

 

Leaked Condom Syndrom answers

TEACHER:Hey you , Leaked Condom Syndrom,
                   can you answer my question?

STUDENT: Sure,when my DAD screwed your MOTHER,
                   there was no leak. It gushed and went straight into her
                   groove. He doesn't like rubber , you see.
                   I was told she was such a horny bitch.
                   $1000 a night she used to charge.

 

Bed and BREAST without any rest

You may check this site  www.BedandBreast@foolsmotel.com 

This motel in the Igloo City promised guests with
Bed & Rest with many Breasts.
Bed is all FREE and Rest comes at the cost of $1500 a night.Motel advises to carry at least 1TB memory cards and a high resolution camera to video your breast period.
 
You may choose as many Rests as you please or your stamina allows with a minimum of  10 rests a night , failing which the security deposit of $5000 will be forfeited.
 
Hefty discounts will be given if one brings his luggage  in topless form right from airport.
 
It also says, it is the Eden that you have read in books.
It is truly a paradise. Currently, waiting period for reservation of 1 night is 5 years. So, hurry and book your rest.
 
If any of you visit , leave a Facebook & twitter post about the experience and share some rest videos in YouTube.
 

Jack & Obama Care

Jack & Phill went to the hall
To see the NAKED  girl.
Jack fell down & broke his dick,
Phill said "Pal, No worries, lemme take her.
And for you , don't worry,
There's Obama Care"


Disclaimer : The characters and names above are purely fictional.
Author doesn't intend to hurt anyone's sensibility and integrity. Only objective is some hearty lungful of laugh without any prejudice in regards of race, sex, profession and religion.

One more Breast piece Please

The sumptuous dinner hosted by the Blonde is on : 

Guy      : Can I have one more Breast piece.

Blonde  : You like it !

Guy       : Oh Yeah, so soft ... yum... so tasty 

Blonde  : Oh dear, none left now. So, sorry...
                 Hold on,  nuts! hold on, I think I have 2 more pieces.
                 But not now.
                 Wait till everyone is gone.
        
Disclaimer : The characters and names above are purely fictional.
Author doesn't intend to hurt anyone's sensibility and integrity. Only objective is some hearty lungful of laugh without any prejudice in regards of race, sex, profession and religion.
         

Sucy in Restaurant

Waiter : Would you like a table?
               For how many?

Sucy     : Guy, I don't eat table.
               How many ?
               Only for me and my 7 boyfriends , one for every night.
               And you know, some of them likes it on the table.



Disclaimer : The characters and names above are purely fictional.
Author doesn't intend to hurt anyone's sensibility and integrity. Only objective is some hearty lungful of laugh without any prejudice in regards of race, sex, profession and religion.

DullGate could not MOUNT eyeBM

MyCrowShop's CEO DullGate declared in a conference
that only regret in his life is he could not mount eyeBM.

He tried hard though .
But his effort could not get HARD enough to facilitate a mount.

He built a house of numerous windows without
any screen or curtain.

So, whenever he felt it , it was all open all the sides.
He could not open his or eyeBM's due to openness all around.

And so much of messy chaos the crows his company sold created. They were crashing every now and then through the open windows, when he was in mood. All sorts of Bugs , Worms sneaked in for a bite of uncontrolled testosterone smell wafting out of windows. 

He was not able to shut down his windows to stop the crows crashing. Finally, eyeBM invented a stick to CONTROL and DELETE these crows from his bedroom.

But, it was difficult to handle his own stick and eyeBM's stick at the same time.

He said , it is a lesson in stick management that finally eased the problem to some extent , but it took many years when his own stick weltered away.

It is the sad memory of his unused stick that lingers even today.

Disclaimer : The characters and names above are purely fictional.
Author doesn't intend to hurt anyone's sensibility and integrity.
Only objective is some hearty lungful of laugh without any prejudice in regards of race, sex, profession and religion.

10 LIVE lobsters

Physical Punishment to Students
in any form is UNACCEPTABLE.
 
Justification put forward  by a Headmaster went like this :
 
Nowadays kids are being born with Twitter
& Face book a/c ready in hand. So they're
considered an adult from the 1st Wahh-Wahh.
So, Punishment for the boy is Justified

What do you do with these Monsters ?

The Jury gave verdict :
Stuff this animal's mouth with 10 live Lobsters &
let the boy & his classmates kick his ass 999 times.
Of course , Bandaids & Tetanus will be provided at the end.


Disclaimer : The characters and names above are purely fictional.
Author doesn't intend to hurt anyone's sensibility and integrity.
Only objective is some hearty lungful of laugh without any prejudice in regards of race, sex, profession and religion.

 

Expiry Date of Microsoft

The news has it that the Microsoft patent for opening a new
window on click of a link is going to expire soon.

My friend was so ecstatic hearing the news the
Microsoft itself is going to EXPIRE soon.

He said, let new windows be opened
with new breeze pouring in for a CHANGE.


Disclaimer : The characters and names above are purely fictional.
Author doesn't intend to hurt anyone's sensibility and integrity.
Only objective is some hearty lungful of laugh without any prejudice in regards of race, sex, profession and religion.

Black Berry Blue Berry & Hollow Berry

It heard that actress Hello Berry was named after a fruit.
I am still to figure out which fruit.

Went to fruit shops and asked :

"Hello , Black Berry , are you Hollow?"
 "No. I am juicy. Go to Hollywood for Hollowness"

"Hello , Blue Berry , are you Hollow?"
 "No. I am juicy .Go to Hollywood for Hollowness"

"Hello , Rasp Berry , are you Hollow?"
"No. I am juicy. Go to Hollywood for Hollowness"

Holly ghost ! The all know the address !


Disclaimer : The characters and names above are purely fictional.
Author doesn't intend to hurt anyone's sensibility and integrity.
Only objective is some hearty lungful of laugh without any prejudice in regards of race, sex, profession and religion.

 

DirtyPigus Sewerfucking Animalana

      

@FactsProfessor  informed that many Countries

 Don't accept Blood Donation from Gays.

 

Funny Joke Master ‏@jokefactory24x7  replied :

 

It has Nothing to with GAY.

They are PERFECTLY normal.

They have selected their destiny.

 

It is the Prez, PM, CANCELlors of these countries

Who enacted such laws.

 

Because, otherwise their Blood Analysis

will reveal their BLOODY CORRUPTED genes

 

ingdicating their origin from a species called

DirtyPigus  Sewerfucking Animalana.


Disclaimer : The characters and names above are purely fictional.
Author doesn't intend to hurt anyone's sensibility and integrity.
Only objective is some hearty lungful of laugh without any prejudice in regards of race, sex, profession and religion.